last day....

The night before our last day with L was challenging. We were restless, sad, anxious, and tired. We had to go in the morning to sign papers saying indeed we wanted L and were continuing with the adoption. We verified his name, which we had decided on ahead of time with L's help, and then had time to explore a little in Sofia before they could take us down to our boy.

The waiting was tough. We just wanted to be with him. I had expectations, but I wasn't sure what they were. I don't think any scenario where we had leave him would have been ok. We finally were on our way down to see him, and thankfully were distracted by one of the awesome staff from Vesta on the drive down. We chatted and played games on our phones and tried to keep our mind off what we had to do. My stomach was a different story, there was no distracting it from the anxiousness that was churning inside.

We got to the social worker's office and the plan was set for the day to go to a restaurant and have lunch. We would go to the local field after to play until we had to leave. I was grabbed by V and told that I was walking with her to lunch, while the rest would drive in the car. I had a moment of almost being rude and refusing, but pulled myself together to walk with her. The inside of my heart was screaming that this woman was taking precious time away from spending with my son! I gave Dan a look and he knew that I didn't like it and also that I really didn't have a choice. He fortified me with a nod that gave me some comfort and off we went.

She held my arm and stroked my hand and spoke to me in Bulgarian that I didn't understand. I probably could have tried to figure out what she was saying, but I wasn't in a good place. It was so hard to keep it together when all I wanted was to be with my family! Finally, through me shouting inside my head, I found peace and calm. I was reminded that this woman was giving me a gift and she was probably feeling all sorts of difficult things, but instead of shying away from it, she was diving into it. I started to explain to her in broken Bulgarian how I felt. I told her "nie dobre dovishdine L" (not good goodbye L). She held my arm tighter and comforted me.

We finally made it to the restaurant and settled in for food I didn't taste. We set up L's tablet with email, a chat program, and skype so we could communicate with him when we wanted to. My stomach and heart were churning and I was wasting my time with him feeling crappy! I had to pull it together.

We decided to go back to the field to run around and play soccer. The sick feeling didn't leave me, but I was able to play. Every time L wanted to stop to cuddle, we would. The time was getting shorter and shorter and I could barely keep lunch from coming up.

We drove back to V's house and the translator started to help us say goodbye. I don't remember much of what was said. We solidified how much we loved him and told him we'd be back as soon as we were allowed to be. We held him. We left. It was unimaginable.

Dan and I allowed ourselves a few minutes to break and then we had to pull ourselves together for J and B. We comforted them, talked about what life was going to be like with a new family member and at the end of the drive back to Sofia, we were ready to focus not on the loss we were feeling, but on the joy of preparing our home and our lives for our son. 

A Day at "Home"

On Thursday, we were invited to V and L's home so that she could show us how to cook a typical Bulgarian dish. We were excited to learn how to make a favorite of L's and have some time to spend with him. We went to the social worker's office first to meet the director, so she could gather her impressions of us.

When L showed up, he proudly handed us a family picture he had drawn for us. It was one of the most beautiful drawings I've ever seen. Not because he's a talented artist, but because he drew us all together, labeling Dan and I "dad" and "mom". He labeled the picture "The D'Orazio Family". It was beautiful that he already counted us as his family.

We went back to V's house and sat while she served us the best coffee that was a gift from her son from Milan. She served the kids hot chocolate that we had given her as a gift. This beautiful woman was serving us the best of everything in her own house! I tried to help her as much as she would let me, but she was insistent on being the hostess and us being rested and comfortable.

We sat with the social worker and translator while the kids played outside. This was such a significant conversation. We spoke about how appreciative we are that L is being taken care of so lovingly and how grateful we are that he would continue to be in their care until we could bring him home. They shared with us some of his struggles and some of his victories. They shared his heart with us and theirs. It was incredibly emotional. These women were giving us the best gift already, and still they gave us more.

The feast that followed was easily one of the best meals I've ever had. V opened her storeroom and brought out preserved vegetables and fruits that she was storing for winter. She did not hold back, offering us a taste of all of her stores. She even gave us a liter bottle of homemade wine! We were brought to the kitchen where she showed us how to make banitsa, a pastry made with filo, eggs, cheese, and yogurt. It was crazy how easy it was to make and she had me and B rolling up the filo and putting it in the pan by the end of the lesson. This gracious woman is also a brilliant teacher! We ate everything she put out and wanted more even though we couldn't possibly have fit anything else in our satisfied bellies.

She wouldn't hear of us helping to clean, and instead we were shooed out to the front patio to play a game ("bounce off") with the kids. We played while V and a friend cleaned up and then headed to the local field to play soccer and frisbee. This time at the end of our days was some of the best time. L seemed so happy and safe with us. He was affectionate and playful, opening himself up to us and letting us love him. A couple of times, he would tackle me to the ground just so we could lay together. I would stroke his hair and tell him I loved him over and over, and he just kept smiling and giggling and kissing my cheek. Such a precious boy!

City Day

On Wednesday we picked up L and V and came back to Sofia for the day. L had to get his picture taken for his visa in the city.

We went to a Turkish restaurant after the picture and then played at the park with a soccer ball and frisbee.

These were some of the best times we had with him. No program, no translation, just bonding through play. We were able to be physical with all the kids and joke around, while still showing them love.

After playing at the park, we went bowling. Our first 3 child challenge presented itself. B was wiped out and not feeling well and L was full of energy from being in the car for so long that morning. We had to figure out how to balance 3 kids with different needs between the 2 of us. We didn't excel at it, but we did ok.

V's son was in town and was able to drive her and L back to their town for the night. As much as we wanted that extra hour with him, we knew him going back was best for him, J and B. It's tough making good choices for 3 very different kids!

Rila Monestary

The next day we decided to do some sight-seeing with everyone. It was us, L, his foster mom, and our translator. We went up to Rila Monestary.

On the drive there, L was getting car sick. We stopped a couple times to get him some air, then decided to move him to the middle row with me instead of the back.

He immediately snuggled up to me! It was such a beautiful moment! He kept looking at me and smiling so big. I held him, kissing his head every few minutes and soaking up the snuggle time!

I was touched by how safe and comfortable he seemed to be with me so quickly. He's so wonderfully affectionate!

We are so blessed by V, his foster mother. She is one of the best people I have ever met. She has prepared L for this the whole 4 years she has had him. She is grateful that he is being adopted and so gracious with us. It's like a dream!

She encourages our relationships at every turn, reminding him that we are mom and dad and that J and B are his brother and sister! She's truly a beautiful and gracious woman.

L becomes our kiddo

After we met, we walked across the river to a cafe. We gave L his gifts and explained them to him. We flipped through the photo album we made him and introduced him to our family.

After a few minutes of that, we asked L what kinds of things he liked and Minecraft came up. Immediately J and L started bonding over video games and YouTube! They were giggling and sharing time like they were old friends.

We talked with the help of the translator for a while and saw how well everything was going. It was amazing! He seemed to want us as much as we wanted him!

After a couple hours of talking, Dan and I decided it was already time to ask him the question we had been thinking about for months. Dan beautifully told L in Bulgarian that he is precious to us, and said that we want him to be our son and brother. He then asked if L wanted to be a part of our family. L answered yes right away! He asked when he could come home!

We spent the rest of the day together testing our relationship and then had to head back to Sofia. What an amazing day! We never expected the connection to be so sure!

Meeting our son

It was a whirlwind adventure meeting our boy. We walked into the social worker's office in his town and waited. Our stomachs were twisting anxiously. We exchanged pleasantries through the translator and waited.

We heard footsteps outside the door walking quickly. In walked a beautiful site. The boy we had seen limited pictures of, read limited information on, dreamed of, and imagined the possibilities of was standing in front of us.

He was visibly shaking and mirrored the anxiety we showed on our face. He was introduced to us and gave us nervous embraces. He called me "mom".

Dan introduced us beautifully, using Bulgarian words for wife, daughter, and son. That did it for me. My eyes welled up and I was lost to a whole new love.

I was already so happy, so satisfied with life. I didn't realize my heart could grow to accommodate a whole other person! This beautiful boy became my son in a matter of seconds. Any doubt I didn't know I had was erased.

Plovdiv

We drove 2 hours to Plovdiv today which is on of the oldest cities in the world. It was so different from anything I've ever seen!

We drove around the city until we found a place to eat lunch. It was delicious and we were able to continue practicing out Bulgarian. We're getting better every time we try! Dan especially.

We found Old Town Plovdiv and walked the cobblestone streets after the adventure of driving down them and parking!

There was a beautiful monastery and a church and then the Ancient Roman Theatre built around 100 AD. It was breathtaking! We were able to walk all around it and explore, climb the stairs, and take lots of pictures. By the time we were finished, the sun was setting and we had to head back to the hotel.

Not having GPS led us to our first real challenge since we got here: me leading us an hour away in the wrong direction!! We finally saw signs for one of the coastal cities that Dan recognized and turned back. Thankfully we made it back to the hotel, just a little later than we expected.

We had a nice dinner at our hotel and we are hitting the sack early tonight! What an amazing day! What an amazing country!

Exploring Bulgaria

We have had an amazing time here so far! We have a fantastic hotel. The staff is super friendly, the rooms are really nice, and the food is amazing!

We are starting every morning with our complementary breakfast buffet or meats, cheeses, veggies, fruit, eggs, pastries and the most incredible yogurt!

Yesterday we explored Sofia after napping most of the late morning/early afternoon. We saw beautiful churches, architecture, and parks. We walked a couple miles from our hotel to see one of the coolest cathedrals I've ever seen.

We walked back towards our hotel after and stopped in a cafe for dinner. We had such yummy food and chances to practice our Bulgarian. We were rewarded with smiles and laughter. They were happy we were trying. One waiter answered my влагодаря (thank you) in Bulgarian and then proceeded to continue on talking to me. I had to confess that i didn't speak it and just blurted out "english!" Super embarrassing!

We went back to the room, played some cards and passed out. I think we all woke up this morning almost fully adjusted to the time change.

Day 2

Wow! What a long long day! We started in Chicago this morning with a tasty breakfast buffet. We had a nice ride to the airport and friendly staff checking us in. We got to hang at the USO until our flight, and then we were off to Atlanta.

We had a nice layover in the international terminal in Atlanta, and then we hit the long flight to Amsterdam. It was 7 hrs and we had movies, tv, games, dinner, and breakfast! It was a great flight!

We got into Amsterdam early and had to wait 4 hours for our next flight! We started to unravel a little as we were nearing the end of our endurance limits.

We all got excited when the Bulgarian Air plane showed up! The flight was a quick 2 1/2 hours and then we were here! It felt incredible to see this beautiful country from above and land here knowing our purpose.

We went through customs and were met by our adoption agency here. They were very nice and it felt great to be met here by someone!

We rented a car.... What an adventure! We had directions, but quickly learned that there weren't any street signs! The gps on my phone picked up just in time and we were back on track. We made it to our hotel despite the lack of signs and crazy drivers.

We are showered and about to get some room service, then we will sleep until hopefully tomorrow morning!

Thank you for all your love and support! If you are looking to pray specifically it would be Joe's stomach and for all of us to get used to the time change quickly.

We hope to do some tourist things until Monday when we meet our kiddo!

❤❤❤❤❤

In Chicago

It's been a great first day of travel, and a short one! We are settled into our hotel and getting ready for sleep.

We had a good friend take us to the airport and had a great meal at Root Down DIA.

The flight was smooth and there was a lady sitting behind us who spoke a little Bulgarian! She corrected Joe's pronunciation of "dopir dulu" or "touchdown"!

We have a 10:30am flight to Atlanta in the morning. Thanks everyone for your prayers, love, and support!

50's and sunny in Bulgaria next week!

I can't believe we are at the point where I am checking the weather and deciding what to pack! We leave for Bulgaria in 4 days! It's truly a different feeling than any other trip I've taken. I can't believe we are finally going to meet our son!

We have had the joy of shopping for him for the first time. It's such an indescribable feeling. Dan and I were in the mall and we decided to buy him a Colorado t-shirt to bring with us. As we were making our purchase I was overcome with tears of joy that we could finally buy our son something! It made things so tangible. I look over at the small pile of things we will bring for him and feel like it's not enough, but I know that nothing will be enough until we have him home.

We leave November 10th to start our journey to Bulgaria, and we will finally meet our boy on the 16th. We spend the 16-19th with him, before we wrap up our trip and come home to wait for the adoption to be finalized. We are finishing up the last bit of paperwork that will go to court with him after we are gone.

Please join us in praying for this unique experience we are all about to go through. For Dan and I that we can show all of our kids the right amount of love in the right ways at the right times. For our kids that they will see an instant connection in one another and form a bond that only brothers and sisters can share. That he will feel our desire for him to join our family and know how much we love him already. For his foster mom, that she will feel peace in this situation and see that we want the best for the boy she has been raising for us these past 4 years. For logistics: our trip, our time in country, struggling with the language we are trying to learn....

We are so humbled by the love you have all shared with us leading up to this moment. We truly do not feel alone in this, but lifted up by the many ways you have all partnered with us. Thank you all for supporting our adoption story. I can't wait until we can come back and share pictures and stories with you all!